Friday, December 26, 2014

Simply show up~

Before you continue reading, I would like to mention that I am here to play on a big scale and live a big life.  In times of  insecurity, my mantra of living big slowly starts to fade into an oblivion and a dark cloud of anxiety and self-doubt slowly hovers over me to remain there forever.....well, it seems like forever. 

Growing a business and a brand for The 40 Day Green Cleanse and being a wife and mother is full/overtime work; Even with an amazing team of people and amazing family on your side.   

 I had a push and pull moment of letting everything go and to just quit! 

Photo Credit: 
Starla Fortunato 
Art Direction: Lisa Steadman

But in those moments of despair, my mantra of living a big life stayed alive in a tiny spark of hope; As it always does.

I had a photo shoot scheduled and also on the agenda for the day was to host my free call on how to Awaken Your Inner-G(Inner-Greatness, Guru, Guide, and Green).
I had a build up of excitement leading up until the day before.

All the excitement turned into fear and anxiety.  It's not like I haven't led calls before or have been the focus of a photo shoot.  But, with my business booming and so many people wanting to jump on board, I felt like I was fully responsible of delivering the right message to so many people.   Honestly,  I just felt overwhelmed!

I had to tend to my business, prep for my photo shoot and my call, all while my son was sick and crying all day long.    Can any mother relate?  To add more, I was also recovering from catching my sons cough and congestion and my moon time came this day!  Oh yeah- and I was tending to my husband who just had knee surgery and had been bed-ridden for days!

Ok, I had come to an opportunity to follow what I help others remember.
Follow my Inner-G(Inner Guidance, Guru, Greatness!)

I had to make a choice and reschedule my call even though it felt like the world was over!   No matter what choice I made, people were going to be let down.  I don't like this feeling of not honoring my own word. 

I closed my eyes and went to sleep.   My next test came on the morning of the shoot when I woke up and I had a puffy face, fat belly from my menstrual cycle, swollen lymph nodes, and half of my voice missing.  Oh what a pretty picture I was going to make.

I made the choice to simply show up and trust my team of 7 that had so diligently worked for hours on end to get this amazing project/photo shoot prepped just right for The 40 Day Green Cleanse.  They had all prepared and were excited for this day.   

I feel that we should celebrate these times of darkness and despair no matter how hard it is because "shitty" times are usually accompanied with a gift.  After tuning in, deeply listening, majorly freaking out, and finally surrendering, I made the decision to honor my intuition and gift myself the space and time I need to breathe, embody, and honor my Inner-G.

The tiny spark that was the container for my mantra of living a big life turned into a light show at the photo-shoot.  No matter how difficult it was for me to show up, I showed up and my team took care of the rest.  The experience was magical and I couldn't have wanted it any other way.

Gulp, this still brings up tears to my eyes.  I am proud of myself. 

In the moments of darkness remember to connect to your Inner-G.  You can always trust that! All you have to do is show up.

Happy Holidays everyone and see you in 2015 and I can't wait to show you the end results of the photo shoot! 

Lot's of G-Love!

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