Wednesday, April 16, 2014

40 days of self lovin'~ 40 Day Green Cleanse

I feel radiant!  I just finished a 40 day green cleanse and feel amazing.   There are so many cleanses out there; it is so fun to find the right one at the perfect time when my soul was nudging for some healing and self lovin'.   When thoughts of possibly starting the 40 day green cleanse came to me via a dear friend, I got so excited because it felt oh so right.  I had to finish breastfeeding and soon after I could start.   

I am excited  to share with you all my transformation pictures below.  Sometimes it helps to see the physical transformation that took place in my body.  Take a look at the layers that I shed!  Most importantly, the transformation also occurred on the inside.  I am now souring in absolute clarity, high natural energy,  and radiance!  I am certain that cleansing with intention in combination with a self lovin' ritual is one of the most powerful experiences that I've had.  I dedicated this special time to me and nourishing parts of me that wanted to be seen and expressed and released.  Especially, after a baby!  I felt my body took a beating with all those sleepless nights.

I am able to do more fitness classes,  more yoga, more creative time for me, more play time with Raya and more home cooking; all this is possible because of my increase in energy.  Not to mention more time to create my new coaching practice.  This new found energy came effortlessly and before, it felt like I was using my reserve energy to exhaustion.   

Here is proof :) if ya need it.  
Cleansing is not just about the food and the changes that occur in the body.  Cleansing gives us the opportunity to set an intention that can bring about realizations for everlasting change while developing healthier eating habits.  It also gives us the opportunity to create community and help others going through their powerful transformation.  The weight that is shed is just the cherry on top! 

I have led many cleanses in the past.  And, I have been asked many times over to guide a cleansing group once again.  This cleanse has given me the realization that I'm ready to say YES!   I am an example of the changes that can occur when you make the decision to cleanse with an intention.  My desire to help transform lives by guiding people through an intentional cleanse rose to the surface of my awareness and I can't wait to get started.  

If you are saying YES to cleansing with a group this coming May 28th,  email me at  I would love to share the details with you.  

More on the 40 Day Cleanse

In Beauty,
Yve Anumi Hart

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

40 days of GREEN

Good health is contagious! 

I recently started my 40 Day Green Cleanse and I'm thrilled to say that I'm now at day 26!   I have always known the joy and power that comes with  a yearly "Spring Cleaning"; there's a vibrant feeling to my home, my body, my spirit, and my mind.  Most of all, I have the presence and energy to discover and prepare delicious foods that fulfill my palette. Check out some of my meals to the left.  I named my favorite green sushi dish "Green Goddess".

This year has been about honoring the changes in my body as my son RaYa came into the world.  My body went through some challenges as it adapted to the needs of my son.  I ended up weighing 204 pounds by the end of my pregnancy!  WOW!   Even when my son was born, my body worked overtime to nourish his needs. The end of the 9 months of pregnancy was only the beginning of the next challenging phase.  My body belonged to RaYa for 9 more months after delivery.  I only started to feel more alive and more like myself during my retreat to Tulum, Mexico.   An intentional cleanse is beyond physical and can bring about powerful transformations.  Have you ever cleansed your body, mind, and spirit with the use of vibrant foods?   If not, I highly recommend it!  If you have, I would love to hear about it below.    

Rest in peace

Good health is an extremely important aspect to a thriving life!  These last 2 weeks I have found it impossible not to think about the recent deaths that have occurred in our community.  I have danced, laughed, and been inspired by these passionate individuals that have passed.   Even though I don't know all the facts of their death,  they are helping me embrace my own health to a higher level. 

In fact, I am nudging my beautiful friends, family, and community to take good care of themselves and live a more balanced life.  There was a time in my life when I was out of balance and I brought myself back again and again through cleansing, intention, self love and awareness.   

Sometimes, it just takes a loving word or two from a loved one to change your lifestyle; it certainly doesn't mean you have to give up dancing, laughing, or enjoying life.  In fact, look at how we partied with the green food cleanse (left).  It was a blast having people over for brunch and eating only green food and juice; what a conversation piece!  People left feeling energized and consumed by love, laughter  and friendship. 

Health is contagious!  Take care of your precious life.  We are in this body temple to honor and cherish it.  You are loved by so many people.  Your life is important to even the people that only know you by your face and your energy; and that is wholeheartedly true.

A green toast to a more vibrant life!
Yve Anumi Hart

aho! aha!

~Looking for inspiration on cleansing. Or perhaps you would like to join a cleansing group or workshop?  Message me

~ AND, I am so proud of our "GREEN TEAM"!  WAY TO GO~  We are almost there!!

Friday, February 14, 2014


The journey to Re-Birth Self in January was a calling from within  to find a reconnection to my inner child (intuitive/CreaTive self).  This integration is one of the most important things I can ever do in my life.  Working with my inner child is not new to me.  But, I did lock her up in the closet for a while.  This time around I had a good reason to put "Lolita" to the side; I had just given birth to RaYa and "Lolita" would understand right?  My logical mind took over after months and months of sleep deprivation.  What inner child?

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~ Albert Einstein

- See more at:

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~ Albert Einstein

- See more at:

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~ Albert Einstein

- See more at:

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~ Albert Einstein

- See more at:

After my amazingly delightful reconnection to Lolita in Tulum, I ask how do I profess my love for her while keeping the balance in my life back at home?   Daily, I tune in and see what that joyous, innocent, tender part of me wants to communicate.  I spend time caring and nurturing myself but also dancing, drumming, singing, CreaTing just for the fun of it!   I tune in to life.  It is not a 3D world when we are in full force.  It is muli-dimentional!  In Tulum I purchased a crazy little creature toy to gift "Lolita" and it reminds me that everyday is a magical day whenever my inner child is acknowledged!  With this integration I am in perfect alignment to receive messages from spirit and be in the flow of life!

Tonight's Full moon (February 14th, 2014) is in Leo and it is all about tuning into our inner child and being FULLY YOU!  Are you having a tantrum today because its Valentines Day and you're spending it by yourself?  Or are you skipping down the street holding hands with your "Lolita" experiencing the playful nature of being joyfully silly?   I know that if I didn't spend 7 days on retreat and ignored my inner calling because of logical minded financial fears or "the right thing to do as a mama", I would be sitting here resentful and without energy.  The love for myself is NUMBER ONE!   My CreaTive fire has been re-ignited by simply reconnecting to the child within me and therefore having a love affair with source!   Read more about the full moon here!  What is your inner child saying? 

My world does NOT revolve around my son or my husband~  
Yes, I said it.  My own conscious connection to Spirit and alignment to my inner child is the foundation for having a happy life; it is my life force and keeps every aspect of my life in balance.   ENLIGHTENMENT is about being in light or "lightening" up.  Be light.  Be joyous.  Be in the FLOW of life.  Be your true self.  My son and husband are having so much fun Co-Creating with me and there is so much more of me to share with them!  And so much more to CreaTe in this magical life of mine!

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant, we have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."~Albert Einstein.   This quote reminds me to stay in balance!

Yve Hart
                                                                  great fun in Tulum
                                                              Lolita loves Sleepy Sheeepy
                                                    Lapis Lazuli Jaguar Warrior, a gift to
                                                            my sacred partner (Razmus)
                                         and a red pouch for me to hold my magical findings.
                                                          Dancing with the Goddess
                                                           Play time with the girls!
                                                     Forever in my hearts ladies! AHA~

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Re-birthing RaYa~ Re-Birthing SELF ( Blog Series #6)

Re-Birthing SELF (in Tulum)

I pressed the "reset", ready, set, GO! 

I was in steamy darkness, my body dripping with sweat, and I am curled up with my nose touching the damp earth.  My heart was racing faster than a drum beat, and I felt secure, afraid, alone, surrounded by love, confused, held and protected.   "Am I on fire?", I asked myself.  The voices were loud like the sound of birth, death, celebration, fear, excitement, orgasm, and other-wordly vibrations that I could not identify.    I was exactly where I needed to be. 

"Earth my body, water my blood,  Air my breath,  and fire my spirit!"; the words of the Temazcalero (shaman) singing in the "hot womb".   Interestingly enough, the female voices from within surpassed his (the shamans) voice and we gently filled up "our" own womb space with a feminine, gentle touch.  A new "me" passed through the dark tunnel and was born from within the fire and darkness. This Temazcal (sweat lodge) experience was a rebirth for me.  It was the beginning of my new life!

When I am crystal clear with my intentions, it the universe always supports me! 

My re-birth journey to Tulum was full of adventure.  As well as a perfect balance of discipline, intention and ceremony.  My days included kundalini yoga, nature, ritual, Chinese tea ceremony, Dream Crafting, and on our last night Temazcal Ceremony (a synchronistic re-birth ceremony) to top it off.   Not to mention, I got to be off the grid in one of the most amazing places in the world with 8 other magnificent women who were all a new gift and mirror for me.  Since I am the Co-CreaTress of my world, this trip was necessary for me to align with the FIERCE TRUTH of my existence and what is next in my magnificent life.  This escape to re-align with my new dreams was necessary for me, my husband, and my nine month old boy, RaYa.  This journey was a calling to my soul and I had no fear of taking this journey on my own to be the best version of "me" for me and everyone!   (Well, maybe I had a day of old crappy fear and guilt!)  Have you ever heard a pull so strong and so clear that you couldn't ignore it?

What did my son RaYa think of all this?  I just kept telling him that Mama is going away to bring all of us something very special. I had no idea what that was though!   I knew that the attention and love I wholeheartedly gave to my son had to be balanced.  I had put myself to the side (just for a bit) while giving all of my love and attention to my boy.   Of course!  Although, A re-balancing was needed. I would communicate this to my son (also telepathically) and RaYa understood.  My journey lasted 7 days and I really got to touch those sensitive areas in my life where I needed to FULLY let go.   I started listening to ALL of me; Including my inner child.  My inner-child had been begging to express herself.  The inner-child has the power to sabotage our lives if we don't satisfy it's needs BTW!  "Lolita" (my beloved inner crazy, young, soul child) loves to play and create!  Without her those mindless, magical, crazy and playful experiences wouldn't exist in my life!   

It does make sense that my CreaTive pull to get moving was a beckoning call to be still with self, nurture, listen, and start Co-CreaTing again with all parts of me.  All in tune to my new vibration and vision. There is more JUICY love and joy here for all of us!  AND MORE FUN!

In Juicy LOVE,
Yve Hart


Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Birthing RaYa; Re~BIRTHING self (blog series #5)

The Tunnel
RaYa is born.  The most amazing moment of my life just had happened!  My husband is overwhelmed by my courage and strength and I am feeling like I have triumphed! I AM WOMAN!  I AM MOTHER!  I AM GODDESS!  OUR SON IS FINALLY HERE!   WOW.  Yeah~  We were definitely on TOP of the world after the birth of our firstborn son RaYa, in April 2103.  He is a miracle!

Then, it happened.  How did we go from heart gushing love and joy to overwhelming night after night of sleep deprivation and stress??  Those first few months were the most challenging yet.  I had just overcome my turbulent rite of passage in my pregnancy and overcame the darkest of nights.   I dove deep into the untouched corners of my soul and emerged resilient, transformed, and was gifted the best gift ever.  The gift of the most amazing son and magical memory of our unforgettable birth experience.  But, again I sank.  It wasn't  that I didn't absolutely love my son.  "I" was almost no where in the equation.  My son's survival was based on my ability to perform the everyday mundane tasks of a new mama.  Over and over and over and over.  I got it.  I got it.  I got it.

Is this what motherhood is about?   I didn't imagine it like this at all.  I was in a complete fog; A walking zombie.  I was  filled with a bunch of that great feeling oxytocin from all the breastfeeding I was doing constantly.   The  L O V E  I have for my son kept me alive and sane.  The best advice people told me (and I heard a LOT of it), was "This too shall pass" and " It gets easier".  And,  it did.   But, the last month the physical pain overwhelmed me.  My neck, back, and ribs were all out of alignment and my body was screaming!   I felt like my very "old" friend TMJ was back.     It was worth every minute staying home to breastfeed RaYa and watch him grow.  It was so important to us that I set my 20 year business aside as well as the community work and events that I loved so much.    (When RaYa turned 6 months old I started working at my "Yve for Hair and Make Up" twice a week) But, now my body was speaking loud and clear and I needed to listen.   Is there more I needed to express? 


Perhaps I was in the tunnel waiting to be reborn?   I am glad I see this clearly for myself and I honor the cycles this life has offered me in the past and now to be able to move through this delicate process once again.  This re-birth is the biggest one yet!    Now, it is MY time.  First, I need to CreaTe some space for myself to completely emerge as a the "new me".  What do I want to Co-CreaTe now in this new opportunity that has opened up for me.  How do I wish to move forward from this moment on as a magnetic, powerful, Co-CreaTress individual and be the best mother I can be to my son?   I am yearning to express myself in a new way with all my new blessings in my life.   This is very exciting and important to my soul on what I will CreaTe next and offer the world once again.    Have you ever had a burning desire to be re-born again? 

How can I do this?  Well, 17 years ago I saw a show on Oprah.  The psychologists that were part of the show gave wonderful advice to new mothers and  I took their advice to heart.  They absolutely exclaimed the importance of taking time to yourself (1-2 weeks a year) for peace of mind and rejuvenation to be the best mother/woman possible for her family, friends,  community,  and the world.  That is the gift I promised myself If and when I became a mother.  The time is now!  I booked myself a trip to the Mayan Riviera (The Vortex of Tulum) on Saturday January 11, 2014!!!  This is my Re-Birth Retreat and I will be enjoying my intention of Re-birthing self in a sacred way.  Tea ceremony, Kundalini yoga, Temazcal Ceremony, meditation, writing, dreaming, full Moon, cenotes, pyramids,  and sacred sites and wonderful new women friends.  What will happen on such a magical journey of the soul?

I will miss you immensely my son, RaYa.  I must do this to find my "I" for you,  for me, for dad,  for us!

Your mother that adores you...
Yve Hart

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Birthing RaYa; Re~BIRTHING self (blog series #4)

 April 15, 2013
Happy Birthday RaYa!!!

Thank you for following this blog.  As you know, this is an incredible journey of a lifetime for me. And, I am so proud to share this part of it!  THIS is the part that makes my heart skip a beat as it fills with gratitude for allowing the gift of the universe of having the birth of my dreams take place right here in my home.  This is the part I will share with my son RaYa when he is old enough to understand.
What makes YOUR heart skip a beat?  

Welcome RaYa
4 days before RaYa blessed our world we opened our home for ceremony.    Friends chanted RaYa's name in his honor.  This name was received in my dreams a few evenings before.   We all sat around a sacred altar that I had co-created with Armando Razmus in our living room over the fire place.  This sacred symbol came to Armando in a dream; It turned out to be a beautiful centerpiece to our birthing room (living room).  I loved how effortless his name and sacred altar piece came into our lives.  

On April 14, we felt deep in our hearts that the time for Raya's arrival was very near.  Armando, myself, and our friend Carmen decided to go take a hike down to the Trump Trails.   We called this hike "El Camino" because it held a special meaning for both Armando and I during the pregnancy; It was "our spot."   I felt a strong magnetic pull to find the special labyrinth that I knew was around there, so we continued walking.   After finding this place, both Armando and I chanted the name "RaYa" as we slowly made our way to the center of this powerful labyrinth.  This chant came naturally to the both of us; We didn't plan it.  Our hearts synced and we placed four stones spelling out RaYa's name on all four corners at the "heart" of the labyrinth.  This spontaneous ceremony CreaTed a shift! 

First Contractions
The first contractions started immediately after exiting the labyrinth.   Even though we felt complete with this ceremonious hike, I wanted to keep walking further!  The desire in wanting to go further was perhaps fueled by a vision I had since I was young.  The vision was to birth my children in paradise while in knee deep water naturally surrounded by dolphins. Armando knows me so well and he knew what I was thinking.  I can tell by the look he was giving me.   :) "I know Yve feels perfectly comfortable birthing RaYa here on this beach and that is why we need to head back up the hill as soon as possible!" Armando exclaimed.   It wasn't his comfort zone to deliver our baby on this beach and I needed to respect that.  We continued to make our way back all the way up the hills and back to the car.  We were already 3 1/2 hours into our adventure!

Our hike back up the trails after 3 1/2 hours.  The contractions had already begun~ 

At last, my contractions had started, and Armando and I started timing the duration and frequency of each surge.  Armando was timing my contractions as we continued walking all the way up the hill.  I felt completely in charge, connected, and patient.   I began to think about what I needed to prepare for this part of the journey.    I turned to Armando and Carmen and told them that we are stopping at a nail salon before we go home.  Armando agreed and couldn't believe my request.  "You better believe it baby!", I said.  I was having so much fun! The staff at the salon kept watching in disbelief as if the baby would fly out any moment!  We all chuckled at how terrified everyone looked; that was definitely amusing to us.  After the nail shop we made another pit stop and visited one of my favorite mexican restaurants for dinner.  With intense breathing,  I patiently enjoyed my last dinner while the contractions were getting stronger.  Armando and Carmen calmly kept timing the surges as I devoured my spicy fish soup!   Exiting the restaurant, I buckled over from stronger surges. Alright, it was time to head home.

The surges were getting stronger and I felt them deeper in my lower body.   Thank goodness my prior discomforts were almost all vanished.  With another 45 minutes to drive I was relaxed enough and trusted my body enough to know that I was well taken care of.   It helped to see Armando calm and present during this early stage of labor.  Earlier in the week, Armando and I reminded each other to stay very calm and not to react to the first contractions.  This sense of calmness was evident as we managed to hike up the hill,  get a pedicure, sit down to eat dinner, and still enjoy the drive back home with some laughs and giggles.  I trusted my body and I trusted the process! 

Strong Surges
We arrived at home at about 7:00.  Armando and Carmen lovingly prepared the living room as part of the sacred birth space. Armando drew me a bath as I waited and connected to myself in solitude.  "This was really happening," I thought.  All the hard work I had put in to allow for this experience of birthing a child was finally happening right here and right now!  

It's 8:00 pm and I am in the pool now.   The mood was peaceful and the lights dim with sweet smell of fresh flowers, essential oils, and jasmine-rose candles.  A pool filled with selinite crystals energized the water.   We decided to call our Birth Doula, Tanya Commerford to come. Armando spoke to her and she asked him if I had found my rhythm.  Armando didn't know how to answer that, and for him, that was a sign that I hadn't found it yet. The surges became stronger and stronger.  If I even lay down for a moment, it would send pain shooting up and down my body.    Thankfully, I had many choices of how to move in my private pool and in the comfort of my home.   Armando felt it would be better if he stepped out the pool to give me space.  That was the best choice! 

YES, I found my rhythm!  I quickly adapted to the space and slowly but surely started to find my rhythm.   Armando waived under my nose essential oils for "surrender" and fed me fresh coconut water for hydration. Stars were cast up on the ceiling and my favorite art exhibit "Ashes and Snow" was projected on our wall.  I connected with the beauty of the primal dance between animal and human on the big screen.  Mesmerizing music and poetry enchanted the room; It was surreal. 

At 10:00 p.m. Tanya arrived.  I started swirling my hips in a dance that resembled figure eights and spiral movements.   Through this intuitive movement, I was able to transform "pain" into "pressure",...... and even pleasure!!  This movement was essential during all stages of my pregnancy,  and now it became a key component during the delivery! 

My dance
I rhythmically moved with every contraction; Connecting to the strength and wisdom of the primal elephants on the screen. In the pool, I continued the spiraling figure eights in a straddling position.  There was fierce tension in my lower hips and pelvis.  It felt like the weight of a bowling ball in each hip socket.  This was a feeling I had never felt before.  Armando was outside of the pool applying pressure to my hips to relieve my discomfort from the weight.   That pressure he was applying was priceless and it worked like a gem.   Tanya and Carmen were comforting me by pouring warm water over my body and feeding me broth to keep me nourished.  They whispered to me sweet affirmations and stroked my hair.  This was my rhythm and my team was dancing in harmony with the experience!  After each contraction, I would completely let go and relax every cell of my being as I laid my body sideways in the pool with my head on the edge.  I got into an ebb and flow of dancing with the surges, complete relaxation,  and feeling completely supported by my birth team.   It was a sensual dance within the ebb and flow of pressure, discomfort, and complete relaxation.  

12:00 a.m. and we called the Midwivery Center.  I celebrated that Alison Stinson picked up; Exactly who I wished for to be my Midwife!   She asked a series of questions and Armando explained that the contractions were not as close together than they really were!  If we told her the truth she would have come immediately.   Armando and I felt we didn't need to involve any more people just yet.  I trusted with all my heart this was the right choice.   We intended for this experience to be as intimate as possible.  We felt in our hearts that the it wasn't the time to have our midwife there just yet.  

1:45 a.m. We made the final call to Alison.  "We feel that the baby is very close", Armando said over the phone.   

2:00 a.m. and the dolphin sonar recordings started playing on the underwater speakers for RaYa.  This was the next closest thing than actually birthing in the ocean with the our Dolphin friends.  RaYa responded well to the frequencies; I felt he was in resonance with them.  

2:30 a.m. and "I am pushing!"  Alison quickly checked how dilated I was and confirmed my cervix was fully dilated. I pushed slowly and steadily, not rushing this process.   They exclaimed how excited they were to be part of our natural home birth. With each push, my body deeply let out a primal grunt.  

3:30 a.m. and "We will have the baby soon," Alison exclaimed!  The room became still.  I was looking at Armando while he became extremely emotional, his body quivering with excitement.  He shed a few tears with this joyous announcement.    The reality of our baby coming was soon approaching and we both felt that very deeply.   I was dancing with the dolphins in my heart and mind.  I felt as strong as an elephant; Eyes drifting as I was singing.  I was whispering and chanting "RaYa" as I faced the birth symbol.   I was in a trance and my body was pulsing with pleasure.   I felt completely ripe!   During these last dances, I recall the timelessness of a miracle waiting to birth through me.  "I've never seen you look so absolutely magical, radiant, and powerful", Armando said.   He said that he had never seen my eyes with that gaze coming from them.   He said he could see God looking through my eyes.  

Baby RaYa
4:04 a.m. my water broke.  Our baby RaYa arrived straight into Armando's hands as and he placed the little ray of light on my chest.  (7 pounds 14 ounces.)  I held the baby in disbelief!  My heart was jumping out of my chest and I questioned reality for a moment.  I felt the warmth of his skin against mine.  This was real!  This little ball of energy that was once inside is now on my chest.  "Please, kiss the baby!", I exclaimed to everyone around the tub.  And each beautiful witness showered RaYa with kisses.  

Now we are 3!!!
Having RaYa in my arms and Armando next to me was just so unbelievable and joyous!  
My heart melted.  "You are my Hero!" These words Armando spoke made my heart rejoice.    He has a new perspective of me after this incredible experience.  This journey was so magical for us and has instilled a brand new feeling of deeper love and trust for each other.  After a long pause of bliss we checked the gender.   RaYa is a boy!

We have expanded
A conscious birth is what I envisioned for myself long before I ever wanted children.  I kept that vision alive and dedicated my life to working through my old patterns to achieve this.   This shift set forth a new paradigm of BE-ing for myself and my family.   Waking up to how magical and expanding the birth process is has completely inspired me and re-ignited the flame to live passionately.   Are we all capable of transforming our innermost fears and doubts of birthing into an initiation of creation, beauty, and grace?  I think we can one story at a time! I've learned that a child's soul brings with it an opportunity to transform our life by truly engaging ourselves in the birth process.  I stand in gratitude knowing that RaYa's soul has helped me transform my fears so I can be the best Mother possible for him and to be in my highest potential as a woman.

Looking at my loving husband Armando, I see his full force of fatherhood arrive as such a powerful and strong pillar of support for us.   And most of all, our hearts have explosively expanded because of this magical little being and Co-CreaTor, RaYa. "Ray of light from beyond infinity!"

Thank you friends, family, and community.
We LOVE and HONOR you!
In So Much Love,
3 Harts

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Birthing RaYa; Re-BIRTHING self (Blog Series #3)

Birthing something new is so intense.  Did you have an inner process or journey when you were CreaTing something new in your life?   I will start of with the best parts of my pregnancy.  I still dream of re-living those incredibly sensitive moments with RaYa in my belly.  Hearing his heartbeat beating like a drum while being woken up by his hiccups and kicks.  I daydream of the feeling of being fully tuned in and connected to this magical creature of love within me!  I felt the perfection of CreaTion within my body and my ability to draw toward me exactly what I needed for our family.  I felt so trusting of the process and the voices within my own head and others were becoming more and more silent.  My heart were my guiding force and my feminine powers were brimming with new possibilities! There was a new part of me that I was celebrating.  A part of me that I almost thought would never be possible. 

In the middle of my second trimester, everything shifted!    Fierce nerve pain took over my body as I was diagnosed with cervical radiculopathy.  I have never felt such unease.   The sharp pain and discomfort wore on my emotional state and well being.    Feeling out of sorts, I ended up pulling my pelvis, back, and hip flexer.  OUCH~ After that, I developed Bells Palsy, which paralyzed half my face.  I looked like a freaking monster.  The lack of sleep was the worst part of all!  I never got to sleep more than a couple hours at a time.  To top it off, I struggled as our insurance declined coverage our to Beach Cities Midwifery Center after 5 1/2 months of care.   Was the universe testing me?  I think I got the point.  But, I am not turning back! 

Rite of Passage
For a while, I beat myself up for not having the perfect pregnancy.   This was NOT how I had envisioned my pregnancy to be.  I've worked really hard inside and out, and now this!  It took me whirling back 20 years to that angry and fearful 20 year old girl and those insecurities and self inflicted battles.  But now I know that it was a part of my process and It was perfect!  Can I be strong enough and powerful enough to pass this test?   I knew the root of the physical pain was a gift waiting for me to discover it.  I continued to stay connected no matter how horrible I felt!  my intuition was so sharp and clear and I remained in integrity with my intention of a healthy, natural water birth at home with ease.  Even though my friends and family started doubting that my body was capable of such a delivery anymore.   No matter where I gave birth, it would have been conscious, connected, and sacred.  And this I knew for sure!   This way MY rite of passage to the powerful woman and mother that I am! 

"The sacred work pregnancy offers is to reveal and conquer our fears and challenges early on so that delivery can be as effortless as possible.  It is a magical time to process deep layers that are hidden and wish to be brought up to light.  It tests us each day to stay present and aware and become even more integral and tuned in.  In doing so, we become stronger, more refined, and resilient for delivery.  This sacred time ushers in the possibilities that are within pregnancy and motherhood for the transformation of self, community, and humanity"  Yve Anumi Hart


Next weeks blog: RaYa's MAGICAL Birth~